29 Mar Guest Blog – How to be anxiety-free even when everything is melting down around you
By Veronica FarmerFamily Therapist and Amazon Best Selling Author of “Made Beautiful by Scars- Transformation stories’
I am a passionate Anxiety-Buster. For 15 years since having my own brush with death after stress-induced cancer nearly took my life, I have been passionate about helping people ditch crippling stress and anxiety so they can live more empowered lives. What I learned in my own journey meant that within a few weeks of a major surgery I was not only healthy again but pregnant!
My journey led me on a search of other Stress Survivors and I interviewed people from the world-renowned author of “Solve for Happy” and one-time Chief Business Officer of Google X Mo Gawdat, to a hunky actor from Brooklyn 99 in Los Angeles, to a small town family photographer and someone who runs their own air conditioning business in Brisbane. They had all gone through incredibly intense times and somehow had become MORE – more together, more inspired, more to others around them in their work and in their personal relationships.
This is what they taught me. You can’t always stop a sh*t storm from coming your way – whether that’s a big health scare, financial stress, loss and grief or an out of the blue knife in the back from someone you trusted. You do though, have control over what happens next…
There are some core human truths that work when you are under the gun. Three Truths that have worked for me personally, truths that those I interviewed have told me and truths that absolutely work with my clients in my healing centre every day.
So, here they are…
STRESS-BUSTING RULES 101 :
- You only have the day in front of you.
- Breathe and your brain gets smarter
- Surround yourself with positive people who support you
You only have the Day in Front of You
Every single day is an absolute fresh start, a unique day that will never come again. If you want to grab that day and all the possibilities it offers, you cannot pollute it with crappy stories from yesterday. If your day is full of resentful thoughts about a person or a situation that is long-gone, it will drag more of that type of situation into your fresh new day. You will create a magnet from yourself to the world that you want more of that negativity.
Wake in the morning with a clear plan of at least 5 things you can complete that day that will give you satisfaction. At the end of the day, as you lay in bed, recognise that you nailed those things and also list at least 5 things that went well that day. These 5 things don’t have to be HUGE. They could be that your kid made his own bed for the first time, or that your partner brought in the washing or thought to pick up a meal on the way home. It could be an interesting conversation with a friend that sparked an idea that could just be a total game-changer for your business.
The key is to release all of the day from you as you go to sleep. Let the day go you can get ready to create a new one you can be born into tomorrow!
Breathe and your brain gets smarter
The moment you have a worried or anxious thought, the body goes into Stress Lockdown. It does not differentiate between an anxious thought that maybe you have forgotten your Pin number on your credit card or a shark about to bite you in half. Your stress response in your body is an ancient human wiring that dials down most of your important body systems so that it can focus on keeping you ALIVE. But something sneaky this Stress Lockdown does is that it makes you STUPID ON PURPOSE. The body shifts blood flow and your ability to make creative smart decisions from your smart front brain to your basic back brain because it wants you only to think “FIGHT” or “RUN”. The amygdala is your CAVE-WOMAN or CAVE-MAN walking around dragging a club behind you. That’s why when you get stressed your memory, ability to recall names (even of your own kids!!) sense of humour and ability to think super smart are taken away!
Okay, so now you know that. What’s the solution?
You can hijack this stress response away from being a Neanderthal, by taking a series of 5 deep breaths. Breathing in through the nose to the count of 5 and out slowly to the count of five can do that for you. You also need to take your body back on purpose by relaxing your shoulders, replacing your tight stressed face with a cheeky smile and imagining that your legs are relaxing and getting longer from the belly down which turns off your “Run” response.
Do your 5 breaths through-out the day. The blood will flow back into your smart brain and you might just find yourself thinking up an awesome Einstein like way to tackle your issue!
Surround yourself with positive people who support you
We become a sum of the people we hang out with. What we think, earn, experience and enjoy can all be impacted by the people you give your energy to. So be wise about who you share your difficult times with. You don’t want someone who is going to sit in misery with you, but people who can inspire you, help you see what you are capable of.
When you are experiencing tough times, it is infinitely better to talk things through with someone calm and neutral and this is where an intuitive nurturing Therapist can offer great support. I help people work through their challenges on a daily basis and it is immensely rewarding watching people and their families create their own “AH-HA moments!” when they see what is possible.
Don’t doubt you’ve got options, you’ve got ways to make your life ALL sorts of AMAZING!
Don’t let Stress and Anxiety get the better of you. Be the Fierce Queen you were born to be, straighten that crown Lady and know YOU”VE GOT THIS!
With warmth
Veronicaxx
About Veronica Farmer MA(Hons) BCST
www.veronicafarmerhealer.com.au
As an Intuitive Coach, Author and Therapist, and someone who nearly died from stress induced cancer 15 years ago, Veronica is passionate about helping others take control of how much they let stress impact their lives. Veronica works with world class athletes, business people, families and children in her Miami Beach Gold Coast healing centre and online. She is also available for phone consultations.
Veronica’s 2018 book “Made Beautiful by Scars- Transformation Stories”is an Amazon Best Seller. Filled with pictures and short raw human stories, it is a chocolate box of ways to get through many of life’s tough challenges!
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